Monday, February 07, 2005

What’s Your Role in Conflict Resolution?

Would you agree that marketing and advertising is one of the biggest forces shaping culture today? Don’t worry I’m not going to take you down the “which came first the chicken or the egg” discussion of whether today’s marketing trends are the result of art imitating or reflecting culture.

Instead I’d like to write about why I decided I had to be better about making these entries really mean something. We’re all friends here now right? Well then, let me tell you, just between us…had it not been for the fact that I started this blog as part of a strategy for my business, I really don’t know how long it would have taken before it dawned on me to blog for a larger purpose.

Stay with me because this does connect to my point about marketing. Michele over at actually inspired me to take the leap and just do it. For some reason on that particular day her blog underscored for me the power of women networking to promote female empowerment without excluding men. Specifically, an email message I got from her presented the powerful opportunitiy to apply this in marketing. How different would the world be if advertising were not based primarily on nurturing lust, objectification and dehumanization? Well, she's invited me to contribute an essay to be published at and as I was considering ideas I ventured into what all this means to me...blogging...why do I do it? My presence online...what do I hope to accomplish?

The short answer is the mission statement featured at my website. I'd add to that the fact that I see myself as part of a new kind of application of feminist theory that begins with confronting a reality that impacts us all. I guess that'd be based on respect for all people, and the real work has to begin somewhere. It can be done if we each role up our sleeves and look for a place to squeeze and get to work.

Come on…imagine with me for awhile…a world where things like this could not happen and these sites were not so desperately needed:
Women for Women International
Amnesty International

Are you still with me? Yeah!!! You have no idea how scary that was for me. I was really afraid I might loose you, but this whole process is about you getting to know who I am…and me getting to use the “voice” I have with this outlet. Actually, it about me living more fully what I teach, advocate and write about. It's a terrific bonus when I move one of you to take action.

Conflict resolution, reconciliation, and overcoming a problem begin with identifying it, but it doesn’t stop there. Then a new process has to be learned to cease recreating the same fiasco time and time again. This is why history repeats itself.

Did you know that the reason I got into developing the Simple Plan Coaching System was because I got tired of crying over the global tragedy and repetition of redundant histories . I developed my first product based on the system when I seriously started to consider perhaps community development consulting wasn’t for me. This was after I had relocated my family to the town I couldn't wait to escape from after living 16 years in it. Progress is a challenge to achieve in communities like those being addressed in Pedagogy of the Oppressed. It is encouragement when you come to understand the roots you have to the place that grew you, but also how to be an agent for positive change through educating and inspiring. His work understands the reality of doing the work in places where the progressive flee in droves, if they every arrive at all.

It seemed at that time that what the situation really required was a team of lobbyist as I discovered that the old adage is true. Everything is political and this is especially true when it comes to securing funding for some community programs.

That time in my life echoed a trite movie moment when rose-colored glasses are smacked to the pavement by a bully. Then the shot pulls into so that all viewers focus in to watch as the rosy-hue shades are crushed and ground in by a heavy boot worn by an angry fearful individual. However, fundamental to my personal philosophy is that making the negative more important than the positive is a choice…and a vital one at that. Since then I have embraced that as a time that changed my life by giving me new vision and greater clarity.

When people are focused on survival it is really hard for them to find the energy to reach out to others. That struggle for survival can be material, mental, physical or emotional but they all have the same impact on your life when they are felt deeply. When that’s the primary coping mechanism in interpersonal relationships for a culture is it any wonder that it’s also the predominate reaction to human created tragedies?

At a book reading last month in response to a question author Lt. Gen. Romeo Dollaire (Ret.) responded that he saw the empowerment of women and the [holistic] education of children as the most available path towards resolution to complex social reconciliation and progress on the global playing field.

The point he makes is also similar to the inspiration behind what I do. This applies both to my writings (download full my exclusive report “Dinner Scooped Off the Floor”) and my products.

Now stay with me because this all brings me back to conflict resolution. Conflicts come primarily from focusing on differences, however at the same moment there are huge similarities being ignored. What each of us faces is simply an aspect of the human condition, our experiences (recipes) are unique but the same ingredients flavor them. One that I have observed as central are relationship management and the best way to begin healing that is cultivating the skill of relationship valuation. While I start you off using the software, like working with you one on one, the repetition of the lesson will help it sink in more quickly.

When more of you have worked out the issue of relationship valuation in your personal life, the energy now consumed with dealing with it, will be freed for you to get on with your true-life purpose. More importantly, the more you heal your life and relationships the more positive the contribution you have to make to the world. Of course, increasing your cash flow with a new venture can help too. You can gain not only more personal freedom but also the means to support larger vital causes shaping the world.

Until next time…..
Be well.

Yvette Dubel


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